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Season of Darkness
--Jonatha Brooke, Secrets and Lies Ho, ho, ho . . . here we go again. Yes, for many people I know and work with, the darkest time of the year can be just that -- dark, with a heaping side of stuffing -- repressing all the "stuff" you feel you must to get through it. Unless you are pure Elf (someone who lives for the Christmas season) everyone must face their Inner Scrooge. You don't have to be a lonely old man who hates himself to have issues with the accoutrements of the season: Obligations. Commercialization. Family Dynamics. Too much rich and sweet food. Dead trees lined up on the street. Newly recorded, disco-ized versions of sacred songs you once loved but grow to hate as they spin round and round in your head. For those whose Inner Scrooge runs the show, it's a tough few weeks. When you try to escape it all and turn on the TV, only three things are playing: "It's a Wonderful Life;" "A Charlie Brown Christmas," and "Miracle on 34th St." One thing that the Inner Scrouge really detests is the Inner Elf, the young part inside who bursts with glee at the sight of tinsel and the smell of balsam fir. For those whose Inner Elves dominate, I say, welcome to your favorite time of year. Luxuriate in the traditions like a good bubble bath, because it prances by faster than you can say "Dasher!" Soak up all the songs, fruit cakes, parties, tinsel and the joyful aerobics of shopping, wrapping and giving. If your joy is authentic, it can be a gift in and of itself. Most of the people in my world are striving for balance between the two-- meditating, doing yoga and saying affirmations in pursuit of the Inner ScrElf -- the keeper of balance. To nourish the Inner ScrElf, adults must cultivate a tolerance for the unknown. The season is a crapshoot. One never knows if it's going to be a beautiful, tolerable, or sucky season from Hell. As a "Jew who loves Christmas" I had to make peace with my Inner ScrElf. How I envied my neighbors growing up, with their yearly tree and prized ornaments! Now that I am free to indulge in my own traditions, I still resent the facts that Christmas is a capitalist holiday, Hanukkah is Christmas-ified, and Thanksgiving is basically an offering of gratitude that we were able to steal the land from the Indians. Despite my mixed feelings and playful send-up, when I allow myself to shut out all the trappings, when I create time and space for it to manifest, there is a buttery silence and richness in the darkness of the shorter days. The Inner ScrElf melts in revelation of the Inner Self. In these moments I truly treasure this time of year. A luminous, feminine presence asserts herself as we touch the essence of yin, the pinnacle of cold and dark where warmth spontaneoulsy emerges. I find a deep sweetness there, and in the knowing that it is only going to get lighter from now on. To make this holiday season easier to digest and to find some solace in, try some of these:
NoHell When family, department stores or red-nosed, sidewalk Santas ringing loud bells really get to you, sing or hum to yourself NoHell, NoHell, NoHell, NoHell! instead of "Noel." Accidental Gift Buy a cheap piece of lingerie, fuzzy slippers, a sex toy or print out a fake subscription to a funky or porn magazine and wrap it fancily. Then give it to an uptight parent or maiden great aunt and pretend that it was supposed to be for someone else and the gifts got mixed-up. Blush, apologize, don't say anything else. Choco-holism in Balance Unless you want to pile on the self-hate, don't try to control your carb intake at this time of the year. When you find yourself eating every piece of chocolate you received in your stocking in one sitting, let it be. Drink lemon water and eat some greens the next day. Make Light of it All Burn lots and lots of candles and put little bright lights around your home. If you have a fireplace, use it often. Put yourself on your list Buy yourself a holiday present and put it under the tree or next to the Menorah or on your alter. Wait until Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwaanza or the Winter Solstice to open it. If you don't have the money, make yourself a card and give yourself the gift of time. Snuggle Cuddle with the ones you love. Or your pets. It's a great way to recover from loneliness, as well as overstuffed, distended bellies. Especially when you really can't do much else but lie there. And remember, Love Yourself no matter what. |
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© 2003 Blair Glaser. All rights reserved.
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